Monday, March 14, 2005

Don't Sell Your Soul, or Your Tires

Fourteen and seven years ago, when I was but a child, I struck a deal with the devil. I would give him my soul in exchange for psychic powers. The deal was drawn up in blood of a virgin ox and signed on my birthday. The next day, I felt empty. My soul was gone, but I was ok because I suddenly knew things I shouldn't know. I knew what kind of car people had just by talking to them. I could tell you what your family looked like even if I hadn't met them. I could guess what people were thinking, and speak about it to them before they knew what had happened to them. I spoke to people in their minds, and stole their thoughts as well. Being soul-less was getting sad, and I began to regret selling my soul. I mean, its all we have, from this life until the next ones, right? So I went into mourning, trying to keep my wits about me every day...and each morning, I'd wake up and regret this little contract I'd signed with the devil! Who was I anyway? What kind of person would sell their soul? The soul is priceless! Why did I do this??? WHY???

Then I picked the lottery numbers, won $131,121,352.00 and yeah, I was cool wit dat.

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