Chicken of the Sea!

I've said it once, I'll say it again. Jessica is not the first celebrity that wondered if Starkist had dead chicken in the can. Let me tell you a story that has rarely been told my children. Back during the depression there was an old silent film star named Patricia Albacora. I'll start by saying that for the day, Patricia was a hottie, all 5'1" 2 hundy of her. By today's anorexic Hollywood standards, she could only be in a sitcom, or play a lawyer on television, but back then she was the cat's meow. Yah, you heard. Anyway, she was also known as somewhat of an intellectual and was not only sought after for her womanly curves, but her keen knowledge of physics and art history. As one story goes, she was sitting on a bench in Central Park waiting for a suitor when she heard a loud gunshot. That gunshot was the last thing she ever heard as the bullet was meant for her, and it found it's target. So, who killed Patricia Albacora? No one really knows, but some speculate that it was the very suitor that she was waiting for. A certain Mr. Starkist. Alas, the legend of Particia Albacora and her secret knowledge of what is really in that little can.
The End.